UK Retailer Selling Mario Perfume That Makes You Smell Like... a Plumber?

If you’ve ever wondered what Mario’s goomba-covered overalls smell like, UK retailer GAME says it has an answer.

GAME announced it’s getting into the video game-themed perfume business with two new unisex scents: “Eau de Plumber” and “FPS” (or First-Person Scent).

According to the product description, Eau de Plumber (which is careful to avoid any actual Mario branding) features “deep earthy notes of toadstool, balanced with high notes of peach and daisy, and mid-tones of grass lands.”

“This brand-new unisex fragrance is lovingly crafted for the busy gamer on the go. Significant other kidnapped by giant reptilian tyrant? Rushing from one side of town to the other with a strict time limit of 300 seconds? Eau De Plumber has you covered and brings a whole new meaning to words ‘toilet water’.”

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FPS, shaped like a grenade, is an obvious ode to the first-person shooter genre. GAME describes it as “best appreciated from thirty feet away and slightly gunpowdery and is a celebration of the nation’s love of popular FPS games,” which is certainly a way to sell cologne.

Both 200ml bottles (which appear to be going in and out of stock) are £19.99 a piece and can be purchased through GAME.co.uk. We won’t judge. [poilib element="accentDivider"] Joseph Knoop is a writer/producer/man who is totally willing to review this for IGN wink wink nudge nudge.